This is where my heart is.

Keep it safe?

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neverxwill
tomorrow - rachels party
26th january - my birthday!
feb 7th - imogen heap
march some time - disney land paris!
25th-27th march - france with school!
july/august - france!


that's all that's planned so far! :) 

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neverxwill
bleh

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neverxwill
 i don't understand why my friends have to try and get on every guy they come into contact with. especially guys i introduce them to.

actually no.. it's only really niamh. Jenna does it too, but she'd stop if i told her to. Even when both Jenna and I mentioned to Niamh to stop getting on Joe and accepting all his lusty compliments and requests. She just went along with it, even though i told her it upset me. 

And then with Tom. EUGH don't get me STARTED

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neverxwill
 this weekend was good. new years was awesome! :) when i met Joe.. it was weird. There was something there, but.. i think it was different for both of us. I just wanted to hold his hand and kiss him. He wanted a quickie behind a tree. Hmm. I know i love him. Grr this sucks. 

anyway! new years, was cool. i spent it with niamhie and her family. :) i know it's not ideal, but i'd've preferred it to going out somewhere strange and getting pissed with strangers, which were my other options. yeah, was good.

i guess not much is going on in my life, haha. oh i get to see my counselor next wednesday, which will be good. mum said she's going to send me to the doctor again. 

i'll blog when something interesting is going on. i find this really hard atm. 

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neverxwill

''why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship unwilling to either work toward solutions or end it and move on? it's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be more painful than what they're already experiencing.'' - just brody 


 i guess it applies to me.. sort of. i met him.. it was weird. i know i love him though, but i know he'll keep hurting me. what a conundrum.

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neverxwill
i'm gonna see him tomorrow. hopefully. oh god i hope i do. i don't know how it will work though. oh god oh god oh god oh god
xxxxxxxxxxx

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neverxwill
 it snowed today. it was pretty. i sat in it, and there was a big brown space where i had been sat amidst all the white. i love snow. it's like.. a blanket. i saw it out there, and i just wanted to lie in it. but my momma was due back soon, and she'd think i was a weirdo.

oh yeah, i figured what i have.
seasonal depression.

i said goodbye to Joe.
i hope i can go on without him.

  

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neverxwill
 i saw hope today. it was sort of awful, awkward.. niamh didn't like it at all, i'm not sure why not. when me and hope were about to walk down the narrows, she looked at me and went, i don't like you. she's your best friend, what about me? and i was like, you're my best friend, because hope cooper is not. hope said it to me when we were on our own, that she didn't really need anyone else because she had me, her best friend. i felt like saying, ''i'm not your best friend. i've moved on.'' but i couldn't. she came back to our school today, as well. she doesn't go here anymore! i wish she'd move on. i know it's a horrible thing to say, but she pops in and out when she feels like it, and well.. i don't like it. 

i'm meeting her on sunday. i hope it's not weird. 

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neverxwill
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
i have to consider steph aswell
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
i know its not fair in you but i love her aswell
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
we just have to wait
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
mhm k
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
im sorry i want to see you again so badly
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
i understand
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
im lucky i have you
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
will i always?
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
yes.
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
forever?
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
forever and ever and ever.
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
i will give you what you deserve one day
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
i think we should just get married:L
we are traitors to our own hearts.says:
most deffinately. :L 8-)
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
i love this girl and she makes me so happy but im sad because i miss her
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
that must be awful for her.
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
you*
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
its hard for us both
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
but she copes better then i do
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
how cann you be sure?
Joe-GlasS CANnon(L)Steph says:
i know her i know she is strong
we are traitors to our own hearts. says:
what if she doesnt want to be the strong one anymore?

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neverxwill
he told me he wasn't sure if he was in love with me any more. and then he said he can't tell me he loves me because it's cheating on steph. but he doesn't mind fucking other girls. great.

i wish he'd just say he honestly doesnt feel for me anymore.
great.

?

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